You Can't Keep a Bad Snake Down
by junkhead30
Summary: Cobra Commander faces his last days.


_You Can't Keep a Bad Snake Down_

"Cobra Commander's getting away," Duke yelled.

"I'm on it," Flint shouted back as he took off after him. He followed the Commander down a long hallway, gradually gaining on him.

The Commander glanced over his shoulder and saw Flint and four or five other Joes chasing him. His emergency escape plan had to be altered, so he was trying desperately to make it to the hanger where a FANG copter had been readied for him. He slowed down slightly as he reached a turn in the hallway, and chanced another look back. Just then he plowed head on into two Vipers running the opposite direction, knocking him to the ground. "You fools," he shouted at the offending parties. He scrambled to his feet, pointed to the fast approaching Joes and screamed, "kill them!"

Flint had his sidearm drawn and fired four shots as he quickly approached the Vipers. He hit one in the shoulder and the other in the chest, and then continued after Cobra Commander.

"Roadblock, Leatherneck, take care of those Vipers," Duke instructed as he, Scarlett and Bazooka resumed the chase.

Flint was right behind the Commander, almost close enough to grab him. He saw the hallway coming to an end and decided he had to stop him before they reached the next room. He dug deep and pushed himself faster. Flint slammed his left hand down on the Commander's shoulder and gave him a quick jerk backwards. Their feet got tangled up and Flint fell to the ground, landing on top of Cobra Commander. His momentum caused him to roll off of his enemy, but he quickly sprang up and dropped his right knee into the Commander's spine, resting his full weight on him. "Freeze," Flint shouted as he pushed the barrel of his sidearm into the back of the Commander's neck. "It's over, Snake!"

"Get off of me," Cobra Commander yelled. He tried to wiggle his way out from underneath Flint, but Flint grabbed his left wrist and twisted it behind his back. "Ow, stop that, you savage!" The Commander stopped screaming when Duke, Scarlett, and Bazooka arrived and pointed their M16s at him. He slowly raised his right hand and calmly said, "I give, I surrender."

As Cobra Commander sat behind bars in a military prison, he recounted the reaction of the Joes when Flint led him onto the Tomahawk. The cheers and cat calls were deafening. The utter disrespect his enemies showed to him was unacceptable. Since he was deposited in this jail cell, many of the Joes had come by to gawk and take pictures as if he were an animal in the zoo. Two military police were stationed outside his cell and occasionally they would mock and taunt him through the Plexiglas cell wall. "Christ, I feel like Hannibal Lecter," he thought as he took in his surroundings. General Hawk's voice roused him from his thoughts.

"Good evening, Cobra Commander," he said smugly. "Enjoying your stay?"

"Get me out of this hell hole," the Commander shrieked. "I'm innocent, I've done nothing wrong!"

"Interesting theory," Hawk quipped. "I think the countless variations of biological weapons we recovered from your hideout will refute your claims."

"Balderdash," he countered. "Cobra was trying to develop cures for various diseases. We needed them for our research!"

"Wow, you've really got an airtight defense," Hawk said sarcastically. "I hope you get a good lawyer. Speaking of lawyers, I have some good news."

"I can hardly wait," the Commander shot back.

"You're basic right to a speedy trial will be upheld. In two days you go in front of a federal judge on the charge of international terrorism, so I'd spend the next few hours working on those ridiculous excuses of yours." As Hawk turned to leave, he shouted one last barb over his shoulder, "don't go anywhere!"

"Very funny," Cobra Commander yelled as he pretended to scratch his nose with his middle finger.

The media coverage for the trial was immense, but the duration was extremely short. The prosecution came prepared with evidence gathered from the latest GI Joe mission. Cobra's computers had all been searched for information regarding past and future acts of terrorism. Three captured Vipers had agreed to testify against the Commander in return for leniency. Cobra Commander's defense was simple; 'it wasn't me' was his constant reply. He called into question the authenticity of all documents and tried several legal loopholes to avoid the inevitable decision. The jury had deliberated for less than ten minutes and the entire world awaited the judge's arrival to deliver the verdict and sentencing. The bailiff gave the 'all rise' command and the judge entered the courtroom and took a seat.

"Mr. Foreman has the jury reached a verdict," the judge asked.

"We have your honor," the foreman replied and handed the bailiff the jury's decision. "We the people find the defendant guilty on all charges."

Duke and Hawk breathed a sigh of relief from the back of the courtroom.

"Lies, all lies," Cobra Commander shrieked. "I was framed! This process is a travesty of justice!"

"ORDER, ORDER!" The judge banged his gavel in order to quiet the court and the ranting defendant. When all was calm, the judge continued, "the only travesty here today, Cobra Commander, is you. Due to the extreme severity of your crimes against humanity, and the fact that you have continually endangered the lives of every man, woman and child on this planet, I sentence you to death by lethal injection. The sentence shall be carried out in ten days time." The courtroom burst into nervous chatter. The judge banged his gavel again to resume order. "Until that time you will be housed in a maximum security military penitentiary under 24 hour surveillance. Court is adjourned."

"Ten days," Duke exclaimed.

"I don't think the judge wants to take any chances," Hawk replied. "I'm willing to bet that he'd do it tonight if he could get away with it."

Duke watched as the Commander was escorted from the courtroom, "do you think we'll be allowed to post guard duty?"

"I'll make some calls," Hawk said, "try to convince the brass."

"Ten days," Duke said again.

"Four days," Duke said absently as he stood guard outside Cobra Commander's cell. He and Dusty had taken the 6 to 10 morning shift today. General Hawk had made his phone calls, and for the first time in recorded history, the brass made the logical choice and granted the guard duty assignment to GI Joe. Teams of two rotated every four hours and spent the rest of the day going through their standard duties. In addition to the guards, video cameras watched and recorded everything that went on in and around the Commander's cell. Roadblock and Gung Ho had reported that the only excitement on the 2 to 6 shift was the Commander got up to take a piss at quarter to three. Duke was surprised that no attempts had been made to free Cobra Commander, but he also had a feeling that something was going to happen. He had been around this snake for a long time, and he knew he had something up his sleeve. The Commander had been calm and cooperative since his trial and was presently lying on his bed, reading The Odyssey, by Homer. He was allowed some personal effects, including his hood, which he now wore. Duke thought that for a prisoner that everyone wanted to see dead; his last days were being lived in relative comfort.

Dusty broke his train of thought, "who's coming on next?"

Duke paused, "Alpine and Bazooka, I think."

"Well, they should be due any minute now," Dusty said as he checked his watch. "Man, this is boring." Duke shot him a stern glance, so Dusty quickly continued, "I know it's important, but you have to admit, there are things you'd rather be doing."

Before Duke could answer, the cell block door opened and Alpine and Bazooka walked in. "Good morning, gentlemen," Alpine called out. "How's our own public enemy number one?"

"Quiet and cooperative," Duke responded, casting a wary eye over the Commander. "Here's a list of what transpired on our watch." Duke handed Alpine a sheet of paper.

"Eggs and bacon this morning," Alpine noted. "Hey, 'Zooka, do you remember what we had for breakfast today?"

"I had dirt and sawdust, I'm not sure what you had," Bazooka answered.

"Morning PT with Beach Head," Dusty questioned.

"You know it," Bazooka replied, shaking his head.

Duke stepped up to the Plexiglas cell wall and addressed Cobra Commander, "do you require anything, Commander?"

The Commander waved his hand dismissively, never looking up from his book, "no, Duke, I have everything I'll ever need right here."

Duke stared at him for a second before responding, "very well." He then turned to Alpine, "someone will be here at noon with his lunch."

"Ten four, Top," Alpine smirked.

As Duke and Dusty walked away from the cell, Dusty noticed Duke looking over his shoulder. "Is something wrong, Duke?"

"Not really," Duke started, "I just can't shake the feeling that something's not right here."

"Don't worry about it," Dusty said, "you're probably just getting antsy. In a few days this will all be over. Everything the Joes have been fighting for will finally get some closure."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Duke sighed. He took one more glance back at the cell and thought, "four more days."

Everything continued smoothly the rest of the day. Cobra Commander made no fuss or hassle for any of the guard shifts, and the surveillance cameras picked up no unauthorized vehicles or personnel in the area. Since Cobra Commander was not only in his own cell, but all other inmates in the prison wing were temporarily moved to other cells, there was no distracting unrest amongst the prisoners. The military police who were regularly assigned to work at the prison had no access to the Commander's cell block, but they still performed their everyday duties, including perimeter security for the prison itself. The men were vigilant, but they still failed to see the white shadow that held to the darkness, sneak over the wall onto the prison grounds.

It was getting close to midnight and Leatherneck and Wet Suit were taking their turn on guard duty. They were sitting in front of Cobra Commander's cell bickering back and forth over who would win in a fight between Batman and Spider Man when Cobra Commander's voice interrupted them, "excuse me gentlemen, I hate to break up this enlightening debate, but I have a request."

The two Joes looked at each other before Wet Suit answered, "yeah, what is it?"

"I'm feeling a bit famished and I was wondering if I could get a small midnight snack," he politely asked.

"You need some warm milk and cookies," Wet Suit said as the two burst into laughter.

"Yes, very funny," the Commander chuckled along. "I was actually thinking of a slice of pizza and a couple of beers." The two Joes stopped laughing and gawked with stunned expressions at the Commander. "What," he responded, shrugging his shoulders, "I am still a man, and a man likes to kick back with a cold one every once in a while."

Leatherneck managed to speak in a confused tone. "Um…no alcohol of any kind on the prison grounds," he found himself quoting the rule book.

"Oh, that's too bad," the Commander said dejectedly, "how about a ham & cheese sandwich and a Pepsi?"

"I'll see if it's ok," Leatherneck replied. He went to the phone and placed a call to the MPs in the control room. He relayed the request, and then stood silent for a minute. "On hold," he said, noticing Wet Suit's stare. "Ok, see you in ten." He hung up the phone and walked back to the cell. "I've got good news and bad news. The sandwich is on its way, but no Pepsi, only Coke."

"I suppose I'll make due," Cobra Commander sighed as he returned to his bed and took a seat.

Wet Suit and Leatherneck turned around and returned to their seats. "That was weird," Leatherneck said.

"No kidding," Wet Suit replied. "Do you smell something fishy?"

"Only you, squid," Leatherneck quipped.

"Screw you, jarhead," Wet Suit snapped back.

Storm Shadow had managed to scale the stone walls of the prison's administration building and was hiding on the roof of the two story structure. After a searchlight passed his hiding spot, he ran across the roof to an air conditioning duct and removed the access panel. He quickly squeezed his frame into the small opening and replaced the cover as the searchlight passed over his location again. He crawled through the maze of duct work until he reached the Warden's office. He opened the vent and quietly climbed inside. The Warden had carelessly left some important files lying on his desk, one of them pertaining to a very high priority inmate. In the file, the codes needed to open the cell, as well as the schedule of guard shifts and meals were included. He memorized the information and decided to avoid the air duct on his way out. He instead went to the window and silently slipped out of the office.

He was working his way to the building that housed Cobra Commander's cell when he found a door that was propped open. He crept up to it and peered inside. Two men stood in the prison's kitchen discussing what they deemed a 'bullshit task'. It appeared that a certain high profile prisoner was being given special treatment this evening.

"No other prisoner has ever gotten a sandwich at midnight around here," the MP exclaimed.

"I know what you mean," the cook replied. "He thinks he's in a country club or something where the kitchen is open 24 hours a day!"

"He'll be gone soon enough," the MP said as he picked up the food tray. "You know, I joined the army so I'd never have to be a waiter again." The two men laughed as the MP exited the kitchen.

During their conversation, the men failed to notice Storm Shadow sneak into the kitchen. He waited until the MP left and followed him into the hallway. Instead of proceeding directly to the cell block, the MP made a quick stop in the restroom. Storm Shadow waited a few seconds before following him inside. The MP was washing his hands and caught Storm Shadow's reflection in the mirror as he approached him.

Duke lay in bed in a guest room in the prison, still fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He was personally checking in with the boys monitoring the cameras in the Commander's cell, and he knew everything was calm. He kept a close eye on the shift reports from the Joes on guard duty, and there was absolutely nothing wrong. Leatherneck and Wet Suit were on duty now so the cell block may be a bit louder due to their constant bickering, but other than that there was no bad news. "You're going crazy, Duke," he said to himself. Suddenly the phone rang, jarring him out of his thoughts. He quickly sat up and answered before the second ring. "Duke, here."

"Yes sir, this is Sergeant Hawkins, I'm the head MP on duty tonight," the voice called through the receiver.

"Yes, Hawkins, what is it," Duke asked

"One of your boys just called up here to get a snack for your prisoner. I authorized it and sent it in." The MP continued to explain, "I just figured I'd call since you wanted to be told if anything out of the ordinary happened."

Duke's face paled, "how long ago?"

"About ten or twelve minutes," he replied.

"Listen, Hawkins," Duke pleaded, "have all of your units check in! If one of them doesn't respond, immediately sound the alarm! And keep an eye on those cameras in the Commander's cell block!"

A confused voice responded, "yes sir…is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Duke said as he hung up the phone. He had just gotten up to make his way to the control room when the alarm went off. "Shit," he yelled as he grabbed his gun and ran out the door. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Sirs, I have a delivery," a timid voice sounded through the intercom into the cell block,

Wet Suit got up and walked to the monitor that showed an image of an Asian man dressed in an MP uniform standing on the opposite side of the metal door. He held a tray with a sandwich and a can of Coke. "Just a minute," Wet Suit called back to him. He punched in a few numbers on the keypad next to the door and it slid open. "Looks good, should've had you…"

His words were cut off when the MP delivered a quick punch to his neck. Wet Suit grabbed his throat as the shock of the blow made him unable to draw breath. Quickly the MP pulled a throwing star from his belt and threw it across the room at Leatherneck. It struck him in the chest and as he tried to reach for the alarm, he fell to the ground in a heap. The MP then grabbed Wet Suit and rammed his head into the wall, knocking him unconscious. He then removed the MP uniform revealing the white ninja gi of Storm Shadow.

He pulled his mask from his belt, placed it over his head, and rushed over to Cobra Commander's cell. He kneeled down next to Leatherneck and whispered in his ear. "The star was dipped in a toxin which causes muscle paralysis. You will be fine in a few hours." He then turned to the cell and faced Cobra Commander, who had removed his hood and was changing into his battle helmet.

"Storm Shadow," the Commander greeted, "how nice of you to stop by." The ninja entered the code to open the cell door and the Commander took a step forward. "Excellent work, how do you recommend we complete this daring escape?"

"Halt!" The Commander stopped in his tracks as Storm Shadow held up a hand. "You will tell me who killed the Hard Master or I will leave you here to die." The Commander stood silent. "Very well," Storm Shadow said as he retreated from the cell, "enjoy your remaining days."

"Wait, Storm Shadow, wait," the Commander shrieked, "let's be reasonable!" The ninja paused, waiting for the Commander to continue. "It was Zartan. He came to me soon after the incident. He thought the Arashikage clan was looking for him and he agreed to join my ranks if I could offer him protection."

"I need proof," Storm Shadow pressed.

"Get me back to Cobra Island and I will give you everything," the Commander pleaded with him. Storm Shadow stared hard at him for a few seconds before stepping aside from the cell door so the Commander could exit. "Thank you, Storm Shadow. You are indeed an honorable man." Suddenly the prison alarms went off. In a panic he looked at the two fallen Joes and said, "lock them in the cell!"

"Shut up, Commander. Do exactly as I say or we will both be stuck here," Storm Shadow snapped at him. He grabbed the Commander's wrist and started running, dragging him up a flight of stairs. They ran down the length of the second tier of the cell block and stopped at a window. The glass was reinforced with a steel, wire mesh. Storm Shadow used his elbow to break the glass, and then settled his mind to attack the wire mesh. With a loud yell, he lunged both of his hands forward and broke the frame that held the wire together. Another strike knocked the obstruction free and Storm Shadow climbed through the window.

"What are you doing? That's a two story drop," the Commander screamed.

"The other end of the hall is three stories, go that way if you wish," Storm Shadow sneered. He dropped and landed deftly on the overhang of an entrance alcove and looked up to see the Commander slowly easing his way out of the window. He perched there looking down at Storm Shadow before taking a quick glance into the prison and then lowering himself until his hands were gripping the window ledge. After a moment's hesitation he dropped and landed with a thud. "Are you ok," Storm Shadow asked as he picked him up. "Can you walk?"

"I…I think so," the Commander said, shaking the cobwebs from his head.

"Come, we must go quickly," Storm Shadow said as he led him to the ledge of the roof. "This one is a short drop…hurry!" They both dropped to the ground and took off running towards the wall avoiding the gunfire that was tracking them from the window they had escaped. Two guards stepped up to stop their escape but before they could react Storm Shadow had jumped over them, grabbed their heads and slammed them together, knocking them unconscious. He ran ahead of Cobra Commander, reached the wall and pulled an explosive from the pouch he wore on his belt. He stuck it to the wall, pushed a button and five seconds later a large explosion rocked the prison grounds. He grabbed the Commander and led him through the new door. A jeep of MPs drove to intercept them, but their weapons and training were unable to stop Storm Shadow from quickly defeating them and stealing the jeep. "Get in," he yelled to Cobra Commander as he stopped the vehicle in front of the hole in the prison wall. The Commander jumped in the front seat, and the jeep sped off into the night.

Duke got to the cell block in time to see Cobra Commander drop out of the window on the second floor. He ran up the steps as quickly as he could and leaned out to find the Commander and Storm Shadow running across the prison yard. He opened fire and emptied the clip but was unable to hit either of them. As he reloaded, he saw the two MPs get in their way and had to hold his fire so he didn't accidentally hit them. Then the explosion came and he instinctively ducked for cover. When he looked out the window again, he saw Storm Shadow fighting a group of MPs, and then stealing their jeep. He took aim, but before he could fire the jeep was speeding down the road away from the prison. "Shit," he said again as he turned to see his two fallen comrades. He ran back down the steps and picked up the phone. "This is Duke, Cobra Commander is heading East in a stolen MP jeep on the road by the prison's main gate. I'm at the Commander's cell right now and I need a medic immediately!" He hung up the phone and placed a call to Hawk at the Joe base. He explained what happened and Hawk told him he would scramble the medical team to the prison and the rest of the Joes would search for the two Cobras. As he ended his conversation with Hawk, Sergeant Hawkins and two medics entered the cell block. "What the hell happened," Duke addressed the Sergeant.

"We don't know," Hawkins started, "we saw the MP bring the prisoner's food and then we glanced away to check the other monitors. When we looked back the prisoner and a masked man in white pajamas were standing at the open cell door. That's when we hit the alarm." He paused, waiting for Duke to acknowledge him. "We're replaying the surveillance tapes. We'll know exactly how this happened in a few minutes."

Duke had crouched down next to Leatherneck as the Sergeant was talking and was assessing his condition. He was alive and awake, but he couldn't move. His vitals were stable and Duke could see in his eyes that he was fully aware of everything that was going on around him. "Hang on, buddy. Doc is on his way, he'll make you better."

"So tell me what we know," Hawk addressed Duke and Flint in his office later that day.

"Leatherneck and Wet Suit will be ok," Duke stated. "Leatherneck's paralysis has fully retreated and now he's just extremely sore. Wet Suit suffered a concussion and bruised larynx from when Storm Shadow hit him. Honestly, we're very lucky there were no casualties. He could have killed either of them, or any of the MPs that tried to stop him, but he didn't"

"Actually, Wet Suit being unable to talk could work to our benefit," Flint chortled. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat when Hawk's angry stare settled upon him.

When Hawk finished glaring at Flint he asked, "what about Cobra Commander?"

Duke paused, "he's gone, sir."

"Gone," Hawk questioned him, "how can he be gone?"

"We found the stolen jeep abandoned about ten miles up the road in the woods," Flint explained. "We searched the area and found a clearing where Storm Shadow probably stashed a FANG or a flight pod. They were probably both back on Cobra Island by dawn."

"Dammit," Hawk swore as he slammed his fist on the desk. "How could we let this happen? We had him! It was over!" He searched for the words that best described his feelings. "FUCK!" He swung his hand and knocked his coffee mug off of his desk. It hit the wall and shattered. He then collapsed back into his chair, exhaled a heavy sigh, and stared at the ceiling.

Duke and Flint exchanged glances after Hawk's tirade. Flint opened his mouth to speak, but Duke shook his head no, imploring him to stay quiet. After a minute Hawk dismissed them and the two stood up and started to leave. As he reached the office door, Duke called over his shoulder, "I'll have the janitor come on up." Hawk waved his hand and Duke left the office.

Hawk was left alone to think about what they had done wrong. He knew the Joes were going to get raked over the coals for this mishap, and they were going to need some serious damage control. He was still angry that Cobra Commander had escaped, but he was confident that he wouldn't stay hidden for long. Avoiding execution by the US Government would undeniably inflate his ego to even larger proportions, and he would strike back to exact his revenge. The phone in Hawk's office rang, pulling him from his thoughts. Before he answered, he looked at the picture of his wife and children on the corner of his desk and made a silent vow to himself. "One day we're going to meet again, Commander. And next time, you'll beg me to put you in a jail cell."


End file.
